Initial factors to consider are:

The time and the time you have available to wait.
Bun firmness and ability to carry contents.
Quality of condiments and coffee.
Availability of newspaper whilst waiting.
Quality of ingredients and care of preperation.
Parking availability
Level of surlyness of staff.


Ilkley Sandwich co are the obvious choice, they open at 8.30 and take ages to dole out the grub. The teacakes turn to mush if your egg bursts or you have tomato. Coffee is good, sauces are good. Bacon tastes a bit fishy due to pigs being fed fishy food? Parking hit and miss, used to be able to park right outside, but now the yellow lined area is always full of office workers that have cottoned on to the fact that the traffic warden is oblivious to this areas problems. Times is supplied Mon to Wed, Yorkshire Post on Thursdays and Gazbag on Fridays, Mail on Saturday. TOP TIP! if paper is free but you are queing, pick it up and browse whilst queuing thus securing it against loss by those ahead of you in the queue after their order is taken. Staff are surly. 5/10.

TCs Cafee-Leeds Rd. Open early, fast service, breadcakes durable but taste kinda cheap, Coffee a bit yucky, not quite mellow birds, but heading that way, sauces, also cheapies. Bacon tastes great, No paper supplied unless left by previous punter, TOP TIP, ask existing punter with paper for sports section! Parking ok, Staff very nice and inclined to call you duckie or luvvie. 5/10

Manns Bakers, Skipton Rd. A bacon roll in good bread, good sauce, average coffee, probably Nescafe, but bought in big tin so it loses it's essence after a while, get the impression bacon is re heated in microwave, no paper to be had at all, but lots of notices and a few business cards to look at. Staff not at all surly but not massivly friendly, parking illegal, open early 4/10

Jubbies Little Lane, A big sarnie here! poor bread, great bacon, poor coffee, lots of papers but service is so quick, your pigging sandwich is ready before you have got to page 3! Sauces ok, not HP or Heinz tho, parking a doddle. Just right level of surlyness from staff. Open early 6/10

Manns Ben Rhydding; Reheated hell, good bread, no paper, same coffee probs as head shop, lots of notices, you need to get lucky with the parking. Staff-lacklustre 3/10.


To be continued.....

Sterling work McNab, this thread should be made a sticky for future consultation.

I used to like Lunsj on Brook street for a hot sarnie, but they've long since gone.

Booths do a top major fry-up (Country Breakfast) - yum yum

Booths do a top major fry-up (Country Breakfast) - yum yum

A wide range of papers to purchase and top parking too, although I doubt the staff will be surly enough for McNab. If only they could entice the miserable Greggs girl to work at Booths it could be the perfect combination.

:chef: I must admit, although it was always FANTASTICALLY expensive, I quite liked the Little Thief for a post-smashup, hangover-curing fried bonanza!
The only difficulty was getting somebody sobered up sufficiently to drive us out there.
There was something undeniably great about sitting in those dayglo orange leatherette seats (with a stinking headache and breath that could knock out Lennox Lewis) tucking into an nice, fat, greasy 'Olympic Breakfast'.
It was a sad day when the cheeky smile of that plump and chirpy Little Chef disappeared from Ilkley's roadside, probably never to return, alas!
A big loss for local grease-lovers.

Hey Typhoon, do these guys get cut price butties for the free publicity?

Considering the Ilkley's Little Chef is now gone it's a bit late to try and get any kind of buttie related kick-back for free publicity on this forum.

I suspect not, IMOR. They probably don't have the 'back-hander' negotiating skills of a seasoned pro-plugger such as your good self... :mrgreen:

Typhoon - Don't forget there's always the Little Thief in Skipdale. we too lament the loss of a 'posh' post hangover Olympic feast! Somehow the travelling over the hill makes it all the better. :chef:

Today I plumped for the 'Mixed Grill' without onions from Ilkley Sandwich Co and a Large Cappacino.

I neglected to apply the principles of Gestalt to the process and thus the experience was ruined.

The theory goes something like this, first you identify a desire, I needed food and coffee! Next you formulate a scetch plan in your head how to fulfill that desire, I thought 'Sandwich co'. Then one must savour a more detailed plan, execute that plan and finally after the plan has been implimented and satisfaction has been reached, the original desire quenched, one must withdraw from the completed task and put it in the past.

The plan was detailed enough, a mixed grill with brown sauce to balance the delicate flavours, in a brown bun as experience has shown they are more resiliant to the steamy fluids that disipate from the filling. A coffee, a large one to wash the whole lot down and go the distance.

The newspaper was taken and I had to content myself with a lightning visit to Olicana Stationers to take my mind off the long wait. I arrived back at the sandwich premises to find my coffee waiting on the counter with the lid, one of those you drink the coffee through placed next to it. A goodly dome of whipped frothy milk sat high above the rim of the cup.

I apologise to the man in the leather jacket whose sleeve was drenched by the plume of hot coffee that flew through the drinking hole in the lid under great pressure as I struggled to place the lid on the cup. That un nerved me greatly and upon taking receipt of my mixed grill, my thoughts were interrupted when I sensed the filling exiting the breadcake into the bottom of the paper bag.

Placing my coffee on the dashboard, I set off and instead of indulging in some foreplay whilst looking for a layby, waiting for the 'full and vibrant contact' with my sarnie, I started eating it on the hoof in a manner that does me no credit.

The Mixed grill consists of a triangular shaped sausage, bacon with the fat on it, an egg, hot fress tomato in a hot dog bun. Sounds delicious....REWIND! in a hot dog bun? ON a hot dog bun more like, there is no capacity in those devices for the sort of quantities of ingredients we're talking about. Consuming whilst driving involves the bun being errect rather than suppine and the contents just slide to the bottom of the bag. A bread cake cut just so, with the lid hinged to the base means that hinge is a natural backstop to buffer the contents, but a hot dog bun clenched in the natural manner is like a tobogan run for your egg and tomato.

The paper bag, weakened from the earlier inciddent gave way and hot tomato and sausage fell onto my steering wheel.

In short, I was having a bad day.

Considering other sandwich outlets to add to my guide.

Tomorrow may post my experiences at the Cow and calf car park shipping container cafe. Good parking, great views.....

Brilliant! I think we could potentially have a new contender for post of the year!!!
Keep it coming mcnab!!! :mrgreen:

I very much enjoyed reading about your sandwich-based travails, mcnab, but feel as though some elementary schoolboy errors are being made in your whole approach toward sandwichial gratification.

Of coffee, first. Requesting a cappuchino was undoubtedly your initial mistake as the coffee-dispensing shop assistant is inevitably going to leave your lid off - the better to display their undoubted milk-frothing prowess to other potential cappuchinees. This absence of coffee liddage naturally leads to the kind of embarrassing (not to mention dangerous) 'pluming' episode you describe.
Real men don't require the feminine excesses of poncy, Italian-style coffee to accompany their breakfast sandwich. All we require is a jumbo-sized cup of scalding ‘Nescafe Original’ with five sugars to set off our sangers, so next time, keep it simple and tell them its;
"A super-size cup o' bog standard with the lid on, love."

Now to the scran. Your second fatal error was undoubtedly the moment when you actually ordered your 'mixed grill' and failed to stipulate your preferred mode of bunnage.
Its all well and good bleating on about your 'egg and tomato taboggan' after the event, young man, but you've only got yourself to blame for failing to inform the staff that;
"Hot dog buns are for hot dogs, you crazy, sarnie-peddling fools! I'll take my mixed grill in a bread cake cut ‘just so’ with the lid hinged to the base so that the hinge will act as a natural backstop to buffer the contents.”
In this day and age, the consumer is king and any butty shop worth its salt will be only too happy to supply bespoke sandwich solutions conforming to any set of rigorous criteria you may choose to lay out at time of order.

Lastly, the location of sandwich consumption you described surprised me the most. For one who takes such a keen interest in the availability and quality of breakfast sandwiches, not to mention writing eloquent commentary on your experiences, you seem to be taking no great joy or entering into any sort of ceremony when eating your hard-earned breakfast treat.
The breakfast sandwich cannot be taken lightly. It must be savoured, sniffed and critically assessed before scoffage. Racing along her majesty’s highway, half a sanger sticking out of your gob with innards dribbling all over your work clothes is no way to extract the maximum from the experience. You must sit down, take your time and allow the flavours of the meat, egg and sauce to explode in your mouth. Feel the rush of testosterone as you devour the cooked flesh of slaughtered beast. YOU are the hunter, YOU are the gatherer, this is YOUR moment, this is YOUR sandwich and nobody can take it away from you!!!

Never has a signature been more (in)appropriate!

doesn't The Loafer opposite the main post office do hot butties as well. i know that their cold sarnies are nice and edible :o)

Eileen, why don't you give us a review of the loafer's hot sarnies.